A Case Study in Racism

What an unbelievably upsetting experience my daughter and I had last night.

We went to Hickory Hollow Mall to run a couple of errands. One of the things we love to do together is have Mommy/Daughter pedicures. It’s a rare treat, and since there was a place open late enough for us to squeeze it in before the mall closed, we went for it.

The nail place is owned and operated by folks of Asian descent. They were very polite and accommodating, as you would expect any staff to be toward their customers. There were clientèle of three races in the store. Everybody was enjoying a Friday evening pampering after a long work week. It was fun.

Then a tall, very attractive African American woman came into the store, told the male employee up front what she wanted, and suddenly began to raise her voice to the man who was trying to help her.

“You need to learn how to speak to me with respect! I asked you a question, and I am not satisfied with the tone in which you have addressed me! I can’t understand you, and you need to speak more clearly in English!”

The place got quiet and everybody looked in disbelief.

She got louder and louder. The poor man was very meek in disposition and was trying to speak to her quietly, but she wouldn’t stop her tirade.

Her condescending tone was clearly meant to harass this man and intimidate him.

Then she said what I knew was coming from the choice of words she was using during the entire diatribe…

“…or is it that if my money was WHITE, I would be welcome here!”

There it was.

Mind you, my daughter and I were one of only 4 caucasians in the place. Every other customer in the store was black.

One of the other female workers went to her and asked her to sit down, and she would gladly fix her nails as soon as it was her turn. So the woman went and sat down in some chairs by two African American teenagers who were getting manicures.

She proceeded to speak very loudly to them:

“You just remember when you grow up that THIS is how you handle them. Make them respect you. Demand they speak to you properly!”

Everybody was watching her. The two girls were clearly embarrassed.

It figures…she decided to turn her attention to me because I was the nearest white girl, I suppose.

“How ya doin’? You got a problem?”

The entire time, what was upsetting me was that she was behaving this way in front of my daughter.

So, I said, “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I wish you would tone it down and not be screaming and causing a scene in front of my child. You’re scaring her.”

Well, that was a mistake. She went off on me that it was none of my business, to which I replied that she made it everybody’s business since she was screaming so loud that she could be heard in the stores next to this one.

She, in a very sarcastic tone, addressed me as “baby.” I informed her that she would speak to me with the same respect that she was so loudly demanding of others.

This exchange escalated and I allowed my anger to get the best of me…I made the mistake of telling her she was being a bitch. I know it was wrong to use that word, and I have explained to my daughter that it was wrong and I was being a poor example, too.

The woman said she was going to call the police to have me arrested. I told her to please do so to save me from having to make the call.

Finally, two of the male employees went to her and told her to leave. She wouldn’t. Thank God, somebody finally called security. They took her outside of the store, talked to her, and then came in to speak with me.

Meanwhile, my daughter is crying and we’re all (others in the store) are trying to soothe her and let her know that everything is ok.

I told the security officers what happened, they confirmed it with one of the employees who told him that everybody else witnessed it and would concur.

I also asked them if they would come back when we were finished and escort my daughter and I to our car, because the woman was out of control. They were cool about it and said to just give them a call.

They made the woman leave the mall property.

This broke my heart: There was another group of young, black teenagers in the store and once the woman left, they all turned to us and said, “Everybody, we are so sorry. Not all of us are like that.”

I said, “Man, it’s ok…you girls shouldn’t even be put in that position, and I absolutely hate that you would even feel you have to put it in those terms, ‘all of us.’ But everything’s ok now…it’s all good.”

Here is the thing that is so ironic: The man spoke to me at the end of our visit to get my payment. He has a very thick Vietnamese accent and his speech pattern is very choppy. Yes, it comes across as “short” compared to the typical Southern style of English. However, it is merely the way he speaks due to his ethnic origin.

The woman obviously was looking for racism in a situation where it clearly didn’t exist.

What has happened to TOLERANCE of our differences?

It goes both ways, folks! It should go in every direction!

I am so disheartened today. The world is so angry. Polarized.

It shouldn’t matter what color our skin is or what language we speak or how we speak it. We are all members of the human race.

Can’t we all just get along?