I’ve been thinking a lot lately about new beginnings.
Not only where it pertains to starting a new job and moving on from this pit of a funk I have been in for the past 10 months, but also when it comes to matters of redemption for our screw-ups. It seems like every other day we turn on the news and learn about another public personality being caught in some kind of personal crisis.
This week it’s David Letterman. I love me some Dave. His dry sense of humor has always been right down my alley, and the monologue he gave his first night back on the air after 9/11 will no doubt go down as one of broadcasting’s finest moments. I was bummed this went down, but I’ve gotta say honestly not really because of Letterman’s abuse of power and sexual indiscretions in the work place, but more of how the audience responded to his mea culpa. I was appalled that they would laugh and applaud throughout his entire speech, even after it became clear he was not doing a comedy bit. Extortion and abuse of power isn’t a laughing matter, and the audience behaved as if they were a bunch of robots. It was bizarre and disrespectful.
Meanwhile, I cannot throw stones at Dave. There is none righteous. No, not one. (Romans 3:10, for those following along at home).
We seem to want to go to extremes whenever a moral dilemma arises. I observed this summer with Michael Jackson’s and Steve McNair’s deaths as one extreme group had them both frying in the pit of hell fire and brimstone (not having any confirmed idea regarding the state of their, ahem, personal relationship with God), while the other side was making jokes about the predicaments they had gotten themselves into that led to their demise.
Pardon me, but I take no joy in another man’s calamity. It grieves me.
The reason? Because we hurt ourselves and we hurt each other.
Aw, most people have good hearts and don’t mean to…but the fact is, folks, is that we are often propelled by our drives (hunger, sex, greed) and it takes us places we just shouldn’t go.
And, again, we end up hurting ourselves and we hurt each other.
If you don’t believe me, listen to Dave, who summed up his situation with such honesty and transparency:
“Inadvertently, I just wasn’t thinking ahead,” Letterman said. “My thanks to the staff for, once again, putting up with something stupid I’ve gotten myself involved in.”
“Now the other thing is my wife, Regina. She has been horribly hurt by my behavior, and when something happens like that, if you hurt a person and it’s your responsibility, you try to fix it…Either you’re going to make some progress and get it fixed, or you’re going to fall short and perhaps not get it fixed, so let me tell you folks, I got my work cut out for me.“
I think it’s absolutely great that Dave is putting himself out here as an example of a guy who has messed up bad, got busted in a really big way, but is facing it head-on, and is going to work his butt off to make it right by everybody he’s done wrong.
The cynical will say he would have kept living his “creepy” ways had he not been caught (via being extorted for $2 million by a CBS producer), and perhaps that is true…but sometimes getting caught is the best thing that can happen to a person. Sometimes that is the very thing that saves an addict from destroying themselves.
Here’s what I love about life, though: the most incredible thing…the thing that gives me so much hope…is that with each new breath we take is the opportunity for a new beginning. It’s the opportunity to make a better decision. To make right a wrong. To start anew.
I know that I have struggled with some pretty destructive patterns of behavior in my own life…and I am trying, trying, trying to make each moment a new beginning of life-giving behavior. Life-giving to my mind, body, and spirit…and to those I encounter.
No doubt I will falter. When I do, I’m going to accept the gift of the next breath and a new beginning to do better.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A song along these lines (pun intended) is “Snow (Hey Oh)” by Red Hot Chili Peppers.
At first glance, the general consensus is that the song is about addiction to drugs (cocaine, heroine), and it certainly applies; however, RHCP lead singer and co-writer, Anthony Kiedis, said, “It’s about the repeated failure to start your life anew and how difficult it can be to get rid off old ways of thinking, and destructive ideas we become so attached to.”
That is how the song speaks to me.
“Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” (Isaiah 1:18)
Yes, I just quoted the Holy Bible and Red Hot Chili Peppers in the same blog post…that’s how I roll.
Snow is symbolic of purity and starting anew. We walk through this life leaving a path of mistakes behind us, but “deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it’s so white as snow,” our past is covered leaving a fresh, new path to forge ahead.
A fresh start…just a breath away.
“Snow (Hey Oh)”
(Video/music below lyrics)
Come to decide that the things that I tried
Were in my life just to get high onWhen I sit alone come get a little known
But I need more than myself this timeStep from the road to the sea to the sky
And I do believe that we rely onWhen I lay it on
Come get to play it on
All my life to sacrificeHey oh, listen what I say, oh
I got your
Hey oh, now listen what I say oh, ohWhen will I know that I really can’t go
To the well once more, time to decide onWhen it’s killing me
When will I really see
All that I need to look insideCome to believe that I better not leave
Before I get my chance to rideWhen it’s killing me
What do I really need
All that I need to look insideHey oh, listen what I say. oh
Come back and
Hey oh, look at what I say, ohThe more I see the less I know
The more I like to let it go, hey ohDeep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder
Where it’s so white as snowPrivately divided by a world so undecided
And there’s nowhere to goIn between the cover of another perfect wonder
And it’s so white as snowRunning through the field where all my tracks will
be concealed and there’s nowhere to goWhen to descend to amend for a friend
All the channels that have broken downNow you bring it up
I’m gonna ring it up
Just to hear you sing it outStep from the road to the sea to the sky
And I do believe what we rely onWhen I lay it on
Come get to play it on
All my life to sacrificeHey oh, listen what I say, oh
I got your
Hey oh, listen what I say, ohThe more I see the less I know
The more I like to let it go, hey ohDeep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder
Where it’s so white as snowPrivately divided by a world so undecided
And there’s nowhere to goIn between the cover of another perfect wonder
Where it’s so white as snowRunning through the field where all my tracks will
Be concealed and there’s nowhere to goIn between the cover of another perfect wonder
Where it’s so white as snowSongwriters: Kiedis/Frusciante/Flea/Smith
Filed under: Cultural Matters, Current Events, Deep Thoughts, Job, Sex & Sexuality, Spirituality, TeeVee | Tagged: "Snow (Hey Oh)", Anthony Kiedis, David Letterman, Michael Jackson, purity, Red Hot Chili Peppers, redemption, snow, Steve McNair
I didn’t watch the Dave Letterman broadcast. I haven’t seen it on YouTube. But sometimes people laugh when they are nervous. I am sure the situation was not comfortable for anyone.
I was surprised when he got married again, because he had always said he wouldn’t. I feel sorry for his wife, because there must have been some reason why he decided to marry her, and I don’t think it was because of their child.
Lynda: I agree that the audience had to have been uncomfortable with the story that was unfolding. I was just a bit blown away that they continued on with their behavior after Dave himself said, “Oh, come on, how is that funny?”
I think he loves his wife…just as I believe many, if not most, spouses who step out do. What my post is about is that sometimes people are driven by destructive thought patterns that lead them down paths they never thought they’d end up on. The point is that there’s always a better way…and a way to move forward from those patterns…and if you do mess up, to keep moving forward.
Bravo Ginger!!! Very well said!
“GRACE” is my favorite word (that’s why it’s on the front of my car). None of us deserve it but God gives it to us anyway because we’re His children and He loves us unconditionally. If only we could do what He commands and love each other the same way He loves us.
If Dave or any of us, for that matter, fully understood the concept of God’s love for us, our hearts would not have to go searching for it in other ways which end up hurting or destroying us.
I am like you, I do not rejoice in other people’s calamity or sin. I am praying for Dave, his wife and their marriage.
Jan: “Grace” is my daughter’s middle name. It’s one of the most beautiful words I have ever heard.
I think at some point in our lives we have all found ourselves searching to fill spiritual voids within ourselves with what I like to call “counterfeits” to what can really give us true fulfillment & peace. It’s human nature to do so. That’s why it’s so important to stay tuned in to what’s real and of eternal value.
I’m of two minds here, Ginger. Yes, it is gutsy to be transparent about his affairs, even if his hand was somewhat forced by the actions of another. Still, I’d love someone, hell, anyone, politician or celebrity, to tell the press to take a flying leap. These are private matters, and it is only because of systemic societal pressures that they are “matters” at all.
Affairs are not sin. Trysts are not affairs. True, a promise to another has been broken, but it is a promise extorted early on in a relationship, and has proven to be nearly impossible to keep. Even if one never acts on a desire, the breach has occurred. Worse, resentment rears its head, and then both people are sentenced to a lifetime of barely speaking. Promises get broken everyday, but it seems we really attach undue importance on those involving sex. What about the wife who bad-mouths her husband day in and day out to friends or co-workers? Is that not as serious a breach of contract as a fling? Or, the husband that ignores his wife and is largely absent due to his obsession over sports, or gambling, or whatever.
To me, the problems are inevitable until we agree to stop imposing limits that run contrary to who we are. Two people living and working on a farm take roughly the same vows as people living and working in a sexually driven industry, like television or film. Why?
Our experiences as human beings are unique. Trying to place a “one size fits all” set of expectations to relationships is bound to cause all manner of disappointment.
Anyway, if Dave Letterman wanted to handle it this way, I say more power. If he did not, I wish he would have told any reporter that asked about it to have a steaming hot cup of STFU.
Your mileage may vary…
Mack: A couple of points… yes, it would’ve been great for one of these folks to come out and tell the press to shove it & it’s none of our business, but since we who live in the tabloidish, 24/7 news cycle, all know that ain’t gonna happen, why not make the best of it and have some valuable dialog from it…and perhaps even bring forth a positive message to learn from the situation? It appears to me that’s what Dave is trying to do.
Promises do get broken everyday, and unrealistic expectations are bound to bring heartache and disappointment to relationships. People are not possessions, and we should not treat each other as such. I agree with you 100% that we should work toward not imposing limits that run contrary to who we are; however, when a couple does take a marriage vow with the same expectation of fidelity and one steps out due to whatever reason, herein enters the point of my post, and that is, with each new moment, there is hope for a new beginning…an opportunity to do the right thing the next time one is presented with the choice.
The same goes for whatever it is we struggle with, whether it’s destructive thought patterns, drugs, alcohol, or sex addiction, overeating…anything that is unhealthy to our mind, body, or spirit.
YES ma’am. YES.
(raises hand, commences to testify, stops and sits down)
All I can do, when I hear of things like these, is to say, “That’s me. Or could well be.” And be glad and hopeful that the ones who fall can get back up again. I certainly can’t (and don’t) condone what put them on (and sometimes in) the ground in the first place, but I can be empathetic that we all fall short and encouraged by their steps to learn from their mistakes and make things right. That’s all any of us can do.
I will admit that I’m going to be a while going back to watch Dave because of the sexual harassment issue. It’s good that he first apologized to his wife and family, but he needs to do more than “thank the staff for, once again, putting up with something stupid I’ve gotten myself involved in.” Some of them did a lot more than “put up with” him. When he comes forward and says, “I have apologized to these women for putting them in a position of potentially fearing for their jobs because of my behavior,” I will consider watching again. He can use this as an opportunity to educate others about appropriate behavior for bosses.
Yeah, and Anton Fig will actually speak.
But one can hope.
(I also like to think that sometimes Jesus listens to the Peppers and goes, “You know, except for the socks thing, that’s some good boys there.” Hee.)
grandefille: LOLOLOL!!! I apologize…I don’t mean to invalidate any of the serious things you said in your comment, but I can’t get past the “Yeah, and Anton Fig will actually speak.” OR the socks comment!!!! bwahahahaha!!!!!
That’s all I got. /crying with laughter!
I saw an article on Fox News today asking if Letterman’s apology was “enough.” I imagine that is up to the actual people he hurt.
The rest of us need to understand that stuff happens. We all screw up; the best we can do is own up to it, try to learn from it and move on.
Finn: Seriously, “enough” is up to those he directly hurt…it isn’t our place to judge.
Great point: the key is learning from our mistakes and moving on…sometimes forgiving ourselves is the hardest thing to do.
Yeah, if I was him I’d be doing all kinds of good talking, to hold on to my Late Night job! The whole story is not out yet, you know!
B.C.H.: He’ll keep his job. Only time will tell about how much “creepy” stuff comes out…but heck, this world is full of creepy stuff. Dave ain’t the first guy to do it nor will he be the last.
No, he’s not the first one, but can’t you just tell he thinks he’s the cutest one who ever did???!!!
I am looking for my rock pile. I hate it when they hide my rocks.
You get it!
abald51247
LOL…you ain’t right!!!!
Ginger, yes, except for one sticky point.
“Right” is the troublesome word for me. What do we use to measure that? Don’t get me wrong, I understand your point…I just think that until we stop making people take unrealistic vows, we are doomed to remain a nation of people who feel slighted, or outright “wronged”, and that brings a whole host of problems.
Good post.
Mack: There’s nothing so “sticky” about measuring “right” if you use your conscience as your guide. If you can’t do that, then if you are a spiritual person, use whichever holy book you subscribe to as your guide to living to help you make those decisions. If you are not a religious person, how about basic common courtesy?
Oh, and thanks.
Ah, what happens when my conscience brings me to a place that your conscience isn’t comfortable with?
Yes, that’s where the mutual respect for each other’s boundaries comes into play, no?
Yes, I should think that is always a factor. Heres the thing. Love, lust, whatever, isn’t a rational thing. Nobody decides to feel a certain way, they just do. Sometimes, probably most of the time, people are able to check themselves before committing an act they might later regret, but sometimes they are not. It is my contention that we have the tendency to extract too high a price for being human. Lives get ruined. People even kill over stuff like this.
Anyway, I’m really not trying to make a case in defense of Letterman, and I think I hijacked the thread a little. So, I’m done.
aw, you can hijack my thread anytime.
it is years of unchecked thoughts that bring it out and acted on,i as a man,was so stupid to have been lustful,yet i am breaking out to find that i have a spirit to love with,i don’t want the t&a ,i want to freely love for i have been missin out on the real me, the free me ,i’m not there but i am getting there. as pretty as you ladies are on the outside ,you had better be on the inside.The sifter is coming,the sifter has sure been siften me,and when he is done ,he sure will be siften you ,darlings, and we will all dance for a change!